And yet again with the doors.

Door Gnome

Country of origin: Sweden, Poland, Germany, Finland.

Came over on the boat with other Europian immigrants

Job: Guardian of all things door.

In the old country known as a Tomte.

A brisk spring morning at the crack of dawn a sleepy door gnome stood up on his pins and began to expostulate on Plaspro/OrePac doors.

His audience looked like this....

...the coffee hadn't hit yet. ................................................................................

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However if the truth be told this meeting was just yet another attempt to get us girl gnomes....

....up and running on doors. And any guy attending the meeting was there almost entirely for the food.

Work

I have learned things since starting work at Pro X.

A: Guys do gossip, they just do it at the store while buying tools, or leaning against a truck.

B: If you sweep the store, for sure in two minutes a logger will come in with mud on his boots.

C: There are small yellow panic aliens that live in the YOX colorant, and they come out when things get rough.

D: At closing time someone will come in for either paint or plumbing.

E: I hate the screw and nail department, the most annoying things to look up in the computer.

F: You don't clean by "dusting" a hardware store, because that is just displacing it.

G: The overstocked plumbing parts get married and start having kids, if left alone in the back room.

H: Filing can be a soothing and comforting thing to do, it gives one a place to hide if one sold some guy the wrong things.

I: While waiting for the paint shaker to finish you can take a short nap or write a text.

J: The guys will grouch about cool coffee but not bad coffee....go figure.

Pass The Door Please?

What does one do when confronted by that question?

I laugh.

Not because it is funny, oh no. But because I'm thinking of my co-worker Larry (who is also the guy asking the question) he is trying his level best to train us girls in the way of the door. To get us to a point when we could confidently sell it to an unsuspecting customer with enough knowledge for it to be the correct door for them to purchase. However on the pop quiz tonight I promptly burst into laughter and the Door Sensei gave me an F on the class. Oh well, my long term goal was to be a bag lady anyway.

There is a list of questions that, if they are asked in the right manner and in the right order, apparently will open up the soul of buyer to you. Then acting rather like a psychologist gently nudging a patient towards a reconciliation with his mother, we ease them around to the perfect door. Always keeping in mind though they must think THEY are making the move, getting the bargain and are brilliant.

Catalogs are not the answer, that is as good as telling them to go some where else to buy the product.

Sell what you have.

Where are you going to use it Sir?

Do you want a window Sir?

Half lite or Half lite vented Sir?Metal clad Sir?

Hollow core Sir?

Interior or exterior Sir?

Shaker Sir?

Modern Sir?

Traditional Sir?

And that is just a few of the questions you might have to ask, we didn't even tread to far into the french doors, 2 panel 6 lite, 2 panel flat or fire rated. Already though things are a bit shaky a mist is coming up before my eyes, the world grows strange.... Ok perhaps this is just the need for sleep and really, this isn't that much information to memorize and regurgitate. I'll just be having a sales guy check any orders I make for the next year or so.

So you think you know 'em?

Three guys, three tidbits of information. How well do you know them? Can you match the faces to the story?

Larry

Danny

Troy

1: The tale goes ,one sultry summers day he was caught riding his Mom's goat down a hill. The goat survived (amazingly enough) and went on to live through a mountain lion attack. Apparently she was one tough nanny...Hint he hides small gummy-bears in his desk.

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2: Now this guy is an anomaly. You wouldn't think it to look at him but he is a star gazing aficionado. The sky is as an open book to one such as he, however, he seems to lack the ability to spot an enemy satelite (a VERY important skill) which is a bit worrisome....Hint he loves English Toffee.

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3:Now this is the one that will most likely unsettle you...this guy... is a troll! From under the bridge none the less. No, no don't try looking at him to figure out why he is a troll, that won't help you at all. You have to know where he comes from to know the secret of his trollness....Hint he drinks diet pop instead of coffee.